As an introvert, you recharge your energy by spending time with yourself. In general, being around people drains your energy or social battery. This doesn’t mean you don’t like to be around people, but you know it will need to be deliberate. You may have to spend the day resting before a big night out. Or, plan to spend the next day vegging out or doing something just for you. Canceled plans might actually be your love language. That said, you want to make real connections. And, making friends as an adult feels unnecessarily difficult. So, how do you find the balance? What are you supposed to do to socialize and meet people?
Socializing as an Introverted Woman
Sure, there are random friends to call. People like you, after all. (Of course they do…you’re amazing!) They’d probably love to hear from you and for you to initiate a hangout. Or, you could finally attend one of those monthly happy hours with coworkers? A noisy bar is your worst nightmare, but you’ll go because it’s your only choice to meet people. To be social. Maybe you’re already doing those things, but still, you’re not finding true connections. No one who really gets you on a deeper level.
Sensitive, Introverted, and…Stuck.
So, where does that leave you? If you are like most of the women I talk with, it’s basically two unsustainable ways of being. Quite frankly, you’re stuck between constant overstimulation or utter isolation. Am I right? This is where so many sensitive, introverted women find themselves. So, how can you survive, no, thrive socially? Waiting on the world to change isn’t going to work. Sorry, sister. But, you can do some things that will help. And, for a plan that fits you, therapy can help.
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you."
3 Social Tips for Sensitive Introverts
There are a whole number of strategies that can work to help introverts get outside of their comfort zone, which I know may not seem fair or right. But, as a sensitive introvert, you need to protect your energy in a very specific way. You may have a higher level of anxiety than others as well. So, these strategies are specifically geared toward you.
1. Visit places you want to or plan to socialize in advance.
You could also arrive extra early, if possible, so you can scope out your most comfortable spot. By checking out the surroundings in advance, you know what to expect and where things are. This is especially helpful if you are going to be meeting new people so that you already have a level of familiarity that can help you feel more grounded. Since the stress of meeting new people (and the inevitable small talk) will be unavoidable, why not eliminate the stress of an unfamiliar environment?
2. Plan a few fun anecdotes and/or thoughtful questions to ask.
See "small talk" earlier. I know. It's terrible. So, consider the types of things YOU want to talk about. Have you read, heard, or seen something super interesting recently? Is there a common trait or interest you already know some of the other people around you may share? Preparation can make things feel more predictable. While you certainly cannot control the conversation around you (leave that to your extroverted friend), you can influence it by asking thoughtful questions! This is one of the best ways for introverts to make friends. People love to talk about themselves. So, if you choose the question/topic and get someone talking, you can learn more about the people you are with and contribute without feeling the need to be "on" all the time.
3. Adopt an Extrovert!
Oh, you don't know for sure you'll be out with an extroverted friend? Bring one! Meet one! Extroverts get energy from being around others. So, they are usually up for a fun time out. That will make your job easier because they can break the ice for you. Be honest with your extroverted friend. Share your discomfort with them, and the things they can do to help you feel more comfortable. For example, instead of having to initiate introductions, you can ask that your friends go ahead and introduce themselves and explain how they know you. You can then chime in with a quick anecdote about how you met, or authentically comment about how much you appreciate your friend for coming with you to be your social butterfly! If this post spoke to you, you may also find my posts on friendships as an introvert, protecting your energy as an introverted woman, and being friends with an introvert helpful.
Therapy for Sensitive, Introverted Women in Florida
I hope these tips work for you. I would also love to talk with you one-on-one. I am a licensed therapist and a sensitive introvert myself, and I offer online therapy in Florida for women who want to build friendships that feel good instead of draining. If you live in Florida and see yourself in this post, I would love to support you. To get started:
Reach out to me and share a little about what you are looking for
Decide together whether online therapy in Florida is a good fit for you
Spread those social butterfly wings, in a way that feels truly genuine.
